Today the unspeakable was uttered - (please cover your eyes if you are easily disturbed) - the newspapers aren't going to be getting flown to the island first thing (at huge cost - enviromentally and otherwise) but will instead not come until
THE AFTERNOON FERRY!!!
The world is clearly on its last legs. Personally, I'm keeping a wee eye out for horsemen, numbering four, galloping in a downwards direction - and if the poster I used to have as a teenager is right, all looking like a good feed wouldn't do them any harm. There will be anarchy and rioting on the street - (note singular). In fact, most people have seemed quite resigned, only had to get the smelling salts out for a couple of people.
As anyone who read my earlier post on the tabloid press knows - I HATE THE BLOODY THINGS!!!! Trivia mongering heaps of horse manure. In my book "Two All -All for One" - (in case anyone had forgotten) I refer to them as the beautiful assistants in the authorities magic act - guaranteed to keep everyone looking in the other direction while real issues are secreted away on pages 4 plus and before the sports section. Huh, that is all supposing mention is made at all and then whatever the problem may be will more than likely be blamed on "immigrants", gay people, young hoodlums or health and safetly/enviromental health gone mad. GRRRR - blood...reaching...boiling point!
However, no sooner had I warned all our regulars about this change in schedule as of next Monday and told our suppliers of everything else that we wouldn't be picking up until early pm, than someone suggested it may all be an April Fools joke.
Well, if it is, I can guarantee the joker will be breathing their last from places in their body they had no idea air could escape from.
Tune: Aidan - "Die Romantic"