Friday, 29 November 2013

The Trials and Tribulations of and Idiot

Today, I got on the wrong bus home.  No biggy - you city/town dwellers might say - YES BIGGY!!! I live on a freaking island and I was on a bus destined for the other side entirely!  I could have been stuck in the back of beyond's back of beyond. Marooned and desperate with no mobile phone, I may have had to resort to drinking my own urine, cannibalism or even knocking on someone's door and speaking to a person I didn't know - THE HORROR.  Mind you, I've seen enough Bear Grylls to know the answer to the problem would have been to take all my clothes off, pixelate my bottom, then run down a hill really fast and jump into some freezing, icy water.  Okay, your right it wasn't a biggy, especially as I could have just sat tight and eventually after an hour or so, the bus would have ended up back where it started and I could have then found my actual bus home, possibly by standing in the correct bus stance this time.  SHUT UP! There are four to choose from, all clearly marked - anybody with an aversion to reading signs or paying the slightest bit of attention to their surroundings could have been confused. Hmmmm, the fact that I didn't know anyone on board should have been a give away but as it was the usual familiar selection: two old ladies blethering; a weary young woman going home from work and a smelly, wee, old, drunk bloke trying to make eye contact (yep, pulled again - she shoots she scores) lulled my barely conscious state into a false sense of security.  I was distracted. I had been wrestling with a plot issue all day, off and on, which I had just about resolved and was scribbling in a notebook when I looked up and realised I didn't have a clue where the hell I was.  Ah Lordy.

Still, I'm home now.  My resolved issue is NOT resolved so I nearly wound up miles from home for no good reason.  Tomorrow I will attack the issue of gods and men and the Cascaroch from the safety of a chair in the kitchen.

Yours, Big Dxxx

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