Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Seasonal Felicitations.

Ho ho ho - well, the presents are bought, the turkey is rotting slowly in the porch (coldest part of the house - no way that gigantic fecker was going to get into the fridge), and the halls are decked with spikey vegetation.  All that's left is to hope that that I only get a lump of coal in my stocking because if Santa deems me to have been "nice", I'll puke.

I love Christmas, always have.  Only two things annoy me about Christmas: Christians banging on about the "real meaning of Christmas" when they clearly ripped off a pagan winter festiva; and women on the radio (probably the TV too but I don't see that very often) banging on about "all the hard work involved", the horror and strain of cooking Christmas dinner, the preparation, the this, the that, blah blah blah.  YOU ARE MAKING IT HARD WORK ON YOURSELVES! Do you really think your family and friends will reel in horror if you don't stuff your brussel sprouts with anchovies eyeballs; if their isn't a dash of angel's tears - only available to purchase at the Marks and Spencers on the top of Mount Everest - in the gravy.  They couldn't give a stuff! I love doing Christmas dinner.  The first part is very very important though - opening MY bottle of champagne, after that - all's good.

Well, have a most excellent one, dear readers.

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