I was awoken this morning at 5:30 to the insistent, soul-jarring mewling of the telephone through in the hall. In truth, I was probably awoken by my poor husband who'd heard it first and was trying to make his way out of bed to answer it but with his back he wasn't quite as quick out of the blocks as me. I shot out of bed, ran around the bed, didn't so much as bang a toe on the treadmill but went straight into a column of comics. Groped frantically for the door, all the time hearing - "briiinng, briinnng,briinnng" - which translates at 5:30 as " ANSWER ME BECAUSE LOVED ONES NEED YOU URGENTLY - life or death - ANSWER ME BECAUSE LOVED ONES NEED YOU- life or death."
Finally, I made it to the trilling beast to hear "Congratulations you have..." SLAM.
On the plus side, I think the entire paragraphs of expletives I made up whilst falling back asleep were extremely creative.